The power word is Comfort. What does it mean to you?
 
What is Comfort?
 
There seems to be a variety of ways to define comfort so I put together some existing definitions and added a little bit of my own perspective. Comfort, when you think about it is a stage of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint at a very basic level. It’s a condition or feeling of pleasurable ease, well being and contentment. And it has the capacity to give physical ease and well being, so comfort can also be experienced or an action. And when you think of comfort, you think of being at peace. I think of tranquility and we can also think of things being in balance.
 
The mind really loves comfort. But, as I’m going to share with you a bit later, it also craves to be challenged and stimulated. So when I visualize comfort, what comes to mind (and yours might be different) – and I’d love to hear about that- I think about embracing. I think about people embracing. I think about a nice cup of tea. I think about a cozy blanket. I think about a nice fireplace. I think about a smile. Those are the things that come to mind in terms of comfort. I like to put a visual to the practical sense of the definition. So how does that sound? Does that seem to capture your view when I talk about comfort in this way?
 
Let’s talk about why it’s important to have comfort. I think that it’s important that the majority of times in our lives we feel at ease and we feel at peace, that’s so very important. It’s important that we have a certain level of this thing called comfort, because to live with chronic discomfort is very depleting of our nervous system. We need time to replenish our systems when we’ve been functioning at a higher level of morale or stimulation and we need to know that we can return to the place of comfort when we’ve shifted outside of that territory. Some people refer to it as that comfort zone.
 
When is Comfort Helpful?
 
What happens when you stay within your normal level of comfort? What comes to mind for me is you have a routine. There is a sense of security that offers warmth… and comfort. You feel a sense of fulfillment. It’s time to really just be with the present and it’s time to enjoy what really exists. Most of the time when you know that comfort is there as the majority of our existence is so helpful. And we need it often when, as women, those in our lives call to us and count on us. Our children, our partners, people in our social network and community, etc. Comfort is there from us as the source – as the resource for many. So let’s also look at the flip-side of that.
 
When Can Comfort Be Harmful?
 
Perhaps you haven’t had a chance to really think about it, but I’m going to ask you to shift your way of thinking from this peaceful, at ease sense of fulfillment that I have been talking. Think about when it might be harmful. Harmful things used for comfort could be when you’re using things that are not serving you well. They may be things that we gravitate towards and they’ve become attached and associated or anchored with comfort but they have now become a source of problems when they’re not doing necessarily all that they are have been put in place to do. For example, people using certain foods for comfort, in excess, or certain types of food or patterns of eating used for comfort. We all have those comfort things such as mom’s, apple pie, a cup of tea that I mentioned, a hot cup of cocoa, … All those things can be great but in excess, the wrong types of food, and as I said those practices (like bulimia) that’s when comfort and food can be in conflict with a woman’s true magnificence. They can undermine the health and well-being of the mind. Drugs, using sex, habits like shopping, compulsive sorts of behaviors, that in some sense have been anchored with comfort but have now become destructive and maladaptive in your life are the things that sometimes require healing and change.
 
The other times when comfort can be harmful is when we are only “there” (in comfort) in our lives. The more time we spend outside of our comfort zones can actually contribute to the more that we achieve. So let’s ask ourselves this question. What happens when you take yourself outside of your existing comfort perimeter – your comfort zone? Well, some of the positive things might be that you can enjoy the opportunity to change, achieve certain goals, try new things, meet new people, push your existing limits, aim higher for yourself, feel more motivated and passionate and you are able to utilize a very valuable asset which is your time. Many other responses to pushing beyond that comfort zone can occur. There’s a physiological and biological response to the nervous system such as the adrenaline and cortisol levels being elevated. For some, the body naturally compensates and returns to normal but for others it becomes an unremitting occurrence that the body interprets as chronic stress and it can certainly take it’s toll if you live in that place on a very high frequent level. So it’s important (and I’m going to share a few tips below) to tap into your ability to comfort yourself.
 
Your Greatest Sources of Comfort. What Comforts You?
 
When I asked this question in the MMS community, you said that animals, nature, soothing sounds, certain people, deep breathing, clothing items, pictures, affirmations, physical contacts like hug, and so much more comes to mind. The bottom line is that it is unique to each person and there are endless options available. So it’s so important that you know that. It’s so essential to the well-being of your mind because we can not avoid (as much as we try) moments and times or experiences of discomfort. So strengthen your core through these daily practices and tap into the tools when needed for comfort.
 
Tips for Increasing Comfort and Expanding Your Comfort Zone
 
There are people who have gotten to a place of just complete avoidance. Not trying new things because they have tried something in the past and it didn’t work or they just lack the belief in themselves for whatever reason. I always encourage people to acknowledge this experience, look at what’s happened, come to terms with it and make peace with it. I also encourage people to love themselves enough to try and try again. At least you can say that you are willing to have a new experience with a potential for a new outcome.
 
On that note, what comes to mind is a client who was devastated when she initiated an intimate relationship with someone that she’d known through her work, but unfortunately it didn’t work out the way she hoped. This person was recently separated and they were looking for an intimate partner only, not a relationship. She was not prepared to engage in this type of situation. It just went against her morals. So she was quite devastated and deeply saddened about it. We talked about all that she’d gained and potentially gained by daring to venture into this relationship at all. How would she know what could have come from it if she hadn’t been open to at least trying. And through that she gained courage in herself and her ability to put herself out there in a way that still felt right for her. Yours might be related to your career or a special interest that you always wanted to try.
 
What could you possibly gain from stepping out in the direction of your next level in your career or perhaps in your business? Here are five things to try or keep in mind:
 
#1. Pick smaller things and work your way up. Those are great opportunities to build confidence.
 
#2. Give yourself lots of cheers for finding the courage and at least be willing to try.
 
#3. Use steps and a plan but of course be open to not knowing everything.
 
#4. Visualize yourself reaching this higher price. I love using visualization. And if you haven’t been with me before you should join me in one of the Monday Mind Trips where we visualize going on a virtual retreat.
 
#5 Replenish and nurture yourself It can take its toll when you try something new and you’re nervous and your heart’s racing. Whatever your response might be, it is unique to you.
 
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Now I would soften it by encouraging you to do one thing that challenges you in a way that you haven’t explored before. Fear is natural and is a reminder. It’s not meant to stop you but for you to consider your options and make a decision to move forward or respond as needed.
 
So, Comfort + Stimulation = Mind Power
 
Let me know if you agree, what comforts you, how comfort and stimulation effect your mind, etc.
 
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