I was facilitating a group yesterday evening where one of the members shared that she was struggling with the way that she had been responding to some of the triggers she was facing in her life. In response to the triggers, she was acting in ways that she was not proud of. For her it was sarcasm. She thought that she was past this in her life. Suddenly her image of herself was shattered. She was not living up to the standard she had imposed upon herself. The underlying message… I have failed and there is something wrong with me. Statements that are toxic to the mind.
While offering support, one of the other group members urged her to “take off your superwoman cape”. This became the subsequent focus for the discussion. As women we often find ourselves holding expectations that are limiting and unrealistic. We expect that we “should” be thinking, doing, achieving, giving … so many things. When we fail to live up to those high levels, we beat ourselves up and we put ourselves down. Most times these self-injuries go unnoticed. It is an internal sore that eats slowly at our spirit. Without awareness we can feel drained and defeated.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that there is something wrong with reaching for incredible heights. Go for it! Just don’t base your entire being on whether or not you get there in the way that you anticipate. It is important to also remember that life is not always a straight hike up the magnificent mountain. Sometimes we have to dig our heels in deeper to get past the rocky spots. Sometimes we have to pause to catch our breath. Sometimes we take a few steps backwards before moving forwards and upwards again. It’s all part of the journey. It’s all part of the process. It’s okay. You’re okay.
Are you wearing your superwoman cape? If you are, be careful about the meaning that you have attached to it? If it is to empower and protect you, that’s great! If it is causing you to feel that you have to be perfect and flawless, then I encourage you to rest it aside. Choose when how or if you will ever wear it again. Feed your mind with rich treasures of self-acceptance, self-love and self-gratitude.
Affirmation: I am super. I am a woman. I am love. All is well in my mind.
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